The “Never Been Kissed Technique” To Break Into New Networks


in Make Money, Stories

How do you become “famous”?

One look at TMZ, and there’s really no clear answer.

Are the most famous actors also the most talented?

Are the highest paid models also the prettiest?

What about musicians — are the best singers also the chart-toppers?

One look at any at any of these categories and the answer is a resounding “NO.”

Talent or skill is not the best indicator of success in any industry.


I rest my case…

So if it’s not raw talent, what’s the underlying cause of massive success?

How does someone climb to the top of the social ladder and break into the best networks? The networks that afford them power, influence, and if they choose — even fame?

I’m going to reveal the secret, but first, take a second to watch a clip from one of our generation’s favorite movies, “Never Been Kissed”:

What’s going on here?

Josie (Drew Barrymore) is talking to her brother (played by David Arquette) and she says something that I think resonates with almost all of us:

“Do you know how much I wanted, just for one day…to know what it was like to be popular [in high school]?”

And her brother Rob, always the popular one, shrugs it off:

“All you need is the right person…one person…to think you’re cool, and you’re in. Everyone else will be too scared to question.”

Let’s unpack the psychology in that last line — it’s counterintuitively complex:

“All you need is the right person”

Translation: Get someone who already has social credibility to vouch for you — then leverage their social credibility into your own. Nobody will even question you.

I call this the “Never Been Kissed Technique” and I’ve used it to achieve massive success — and even become a “famous” DJ — when simply gaining more skill wouldn’t have sufficed.

Over the last several years, I’ve worked very hard to grow the community at Hack The System to almost 30,000 readers. But it wasn’t without the help of powerful people vouching for me.

In fact, many of you became readers after finding me first at places like Leo Babauta’s  Zen Habits or seeing my case study on Tim Ferriss’ 4HWW Blog.

Apparently, these were the “right people” (according to Rob in “Never Been Kissed”) because when you saw that they trusted me enough to post my content, you instantly trusted me as well.

You didn’t even question it, did you?

They were cool. And now I’m cool. And nobody should dare question this.


Once you have the ear, and support, of these powerful people, you can move an entire community.

And just like negative information can spread very quickly from friend-to-friend, so can positive information when passed from a socially credible, trusted source.

When when that happens, new networks open up for you. Turning back to our favorite movie:

Look what happens with a few kind words from an influential friend.

It’s easier to break into new networks than you think. But are you approaching the right people? First, you need to know how to meet and connect with your heroes.

What new social networks are you trying to break into?

Let me know in the comments.


otto May 20, 2014 at 8:01 am

What Is Drop Shipping? 

Drop shipping is a retail method in which you don’t keep products in stock. Instead, you partner with a wholesale supplier that stocks its own inventory –

you transfer customer orders and shipment details to them, and they ship the goods directly to the customer. The biggest benefit of drop shipping is you don’t have to worry about fulfillment or inventory issues. 

Also, most customers don’t know you’re drop shipping, since “private label shipping” lets you ship from the wholesaler with a return address and invoice customized to your ecommerce store.

The Benefits of Drop Shipping 

There are a number of reasons you should consider drop shipping:

1. You Don’t Need Buckets of Money: Drop shipping makes it amazingly easy to get started selling online. You don’t need to invest heavily in inventory, yet you can still offer thousands of items to your customers. 

2. Convenience & Efficiency: Successfully launching and growing an ecommerce business takes a lot of work, especially if you have limited resources. Not having to worry about fulfillment is incredibly convenient and frees up your time to concentrate on marketing, customer service, and operations 

3. Mobility: With all the physical fulfillment issues handled, you’re free to operate your business anywhere you can get an internet connection.

4. It’s a Trusted Model: You might be thinking that this sounds like some sketchy, fly-by-night model – but it’s not. Plenty of work from home online stores, even major retailers like Sears, use drop shipping to offer a wider selection of products to their customers without having to deal with increased inventory hassles.

How Do I Find Drop Shipping Wholesalers? 

Before contacting suppliers, you’ll want to make sure your legal ducks are in a row. In the United States, most suppliers will ask for your business EIN number and a copy of your state sales tax and/or resale certificate. Once you’re properly established, you can start contacting drop shipping suppliers. However There is a wholesale directory service called salehoo which have thousands of suppliers listed who don’t require any sales tax information.

There are various ways to find drop shipping wholesalers, I have video’s on my youtube channel that outlines your best options.

Before you start dropshipping on ebay there are some pitfalls to watchout for. So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE watch my YouTube video over dropshipping and how I lost my ebay business.


Michael March 10, 2014 at 3:13 pm

I am a classical musician and I’m trying to break into the rather exclusive ranks of top international orchestra conductors!


John Chachere February 13, 2014 at 6:50 pm

I’m looking to network with:

1. Successful entertainers
2. Journalists
3. Scientists and academics


Carnita February 6, 2014 at 8:32 pm

Trying to break into
(Modeling, Brand Ambassador, Wardrobe Styling, Creative Direction)
-Entertainment (TV Personality)


Tim February 6, 2014 at 3:31 pm

Networks I’m looking to break into:

1. Successful Fine Art Photographers
2. Successful Local B2B Marketers and Consultants
3. Successful Entrepreneurs selling physical products that are location independant


Johnny Mean February 6, 2014 at 1:44 pm

I call this building “ambassadors” Allowing you to move from one social sphere to another. It works this way in the film/acting/stunt world specifically. You are a nobody until someone of repute vouches for you. Hence the value of ‘Letters of Introduction’.
It is good idea to perform this for others just for future reciprocity’s sake.


Ronnie February 6, 2014 at 11:35 am

Wait, at B.V. Ramit was the cool brother and you were Josie?

And… is that James Franco in the last video?!

Awesome posts lately Maneesh, keep it up!


Kimanzi February 6, 2014 at 11:18 am

I think this is a great strategy for most areas but I’m not sure it’s the best strategy for the online marketing/personal development space. Pat Flynn says he gets 500 emails a day and takes a month to respond, a lot of people are probably trying to use this very strategy. I think a better approach is connecting with the third tier as Chase Reeves likes to say:


Stan February 6, 2014 at 9:17 am

Hey Maneesh, love reading your blog. I am trying to break into the world of senior management in IT consulting. (not so cool but I love it!)


Ilya February 18, 2014 at 9:08 am

Me too. Let’s chat


Trevor Lawrence February 6, 2014 at 8:41 am

Hi Maneesh,
I am a photographer in my time off from my day job. I am trying to use Twitter and Facebook to
Get Commercial photo jobs.


kayvee February 6, 2014 at 8:15 am

I never thought of this

This is brilliant


RenegadePilgrim February 6, 2014 at 6:55 am

I’m trying to break into writing for outdoor magazines/websites. I love writing about my outdoor adventures and would love to be able to do more of it. I’m also a great public speaker who enjoys talking about the Camino de Santiago trek specifically. I’d love to be able to tour around and give inspiring talks to people interested in walking the Camino.


Leah McCullough February 6, 2014 at 6:28 am

I’m a natural health author and speaker and I’m trying to break into the world of speaking to large groups of natural-minded health care providers.


Francesco February 6, 2014 at 6:15 am

Sorry to disappoint you, but I am reading you as I think you share great and original content, not because you are cool or somebody else thinks you are cool. Maybe I have lived too long in Northern Europe. But keep up this way 🙂


Zach K. February 6, 2014 at 10:00 am

He was being sarcastic, he didn’t actually mean it when he said he was cool.


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